Sunday, June 30, 2013

My Higher Calling!

Zoe here, hope all is well? I just got back from a walk with David. We went to the post office to mail a letter. I offered to lick the stamps or the envelope, or his hand, or pretty much any thing. You never know where you'll find absolutely incredible taste sensations. For all you dogs out there this is one of the many abilities that we excel over humans. Hear me out? How many times have you seen a human try some new food just to jump up from the table, run to the garbage can and just spit it out? I knew that humans have seriously few tastes buds the first time I saw my humom prepared a new type of egg and sausage scrambled dinner for my David. After the first bite, his face contorted, turned purplish- red, his eyes bulged and he passed gas, lots of it. It was spell binding. I didn't know that he could move that fast. Dropping his fork on his plate within a millisecond he was standing over my silver recycling bin, as I call it, and hacking up food. I swear that he propelled a chunk of sausage with such force that it dented the trash can. Seriously!

I don't want to get off track here an describe the rest of the story, how he then ran to the bathroom, brushed his teeth, performed his ancient teeth purifying ceremony called "flossing" and then practiced what he was going to say to my humom in the mirror. It was, as they say in Texas, a hoot. I frequently lie on my back, point my feet to the sky and twist my body into contortions in an effort suppress my laughter, when I recall this most amazing day. But the best part of this day was when they were making up, I went to the garbage can and dared to push the lid up with my nose so that I could sample the egg dish, but not only that there was left over pizza, bread stick, a third of a somewhat brown banana and humus. I could not have imagined that taste sensations of this magnitude even existed. Oh my tongue, it went limp and just hung out of my mouth. I lost control of it for ten minutes. All I could do was walk and drool. That's when I knew my true calling, my purpose.

How many times have I heard my humom and dad complain about taking the trash out? Early in the morning shuffling in their slippers, while catching escaping cans or crushed empty milk cartons they risk their very lives for me, just keeping things neat and sanitary. No more! I have decided to be "Recycler Dog". First I renamed the trash can, which is now known as recycler bin. This gives my mission clarity and purpose. Next I perform my recycling feats late at night or when I'm all alone in the house, except for Shadowy my new cat step-brother. So far my humom hasn't noticed that they take the garbage out a lot less frequently, which is okay with me I'm not in this for personal gain or acknowledgement. I just want to do my part for my peeps and for the planet. Well thanks for checking in with me. Remember this is all highly confidential! Your friend Zoe the Re Cycler-ler-ler Dog Dog Dog! (Imagine an echo).

SAFETY TIP: Zoe like all dogs is motivated by smells, tastes and love. Give your dog an extra portion of love by securing the trash can lid, so that it can't be opened by our helpful companions. You can do this with something as simple as Velcro, a magnet or even a bungee cord. This will keep their weight down and unsafe food out of reach!!


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